post vacation high - first trip overseas

Its been awhile since my last post but i figured i write a post vacation post. I'll start by saying I had a blast and I am already want to plan my next vacation. anyway let me start from the beginning...

so I've never been on a plane for more than three hours and i haven't been on a plane before this trip in 12 years. so it was kinda scary that i was now going to be on a plane for almost ten hours to get to Istanbul. so to calm the nervousness i had a beer before i left to go to the airport then when i met up with my friend i had another beer and she thought it would be a good idea to order us two double shots of jack. i can admit i was feeling a little tipsy and didn't know at the time the plane would be serving more free booze. The main sign I was a little fucked up was my analogy that I was like a fine wine that needed to be sipped to get the full effect. Don't even ask me to explain that because quite frankly I don't even remember what we were talking about for me to give that comment. So fast forward to us getting on the plane and the flight attendant yells at me for not turning off my phone lol which turned out to be a good thing since that's how we met the girls from Dallas who were sitting in front of us. i will say i can fly anyway if u give me enough beer and wine. by this point i was a lot more tipsy so i don't know exactly how but we started chatting with the girls from Dallas. and I'm pretty sure we were very loud but whatever. all that booze and i only slept for three hours.

welcome to Istanbul! Ive always wanted to go there since i took a art history class back in college and now it was finally happening. it was everything i thought it would be. first day there we went to the Hagia Sophia and the blue mosque both are absolutely breath taking. Day two we did the Bosphorus cruise which was another great day. Seeing all the sights along the Bosphorus strait was amazing. We got off the cruise at the last stop  (Anadolu Kavagi) to take in the sights and check out Yoros Castle and the sights. No one mentioned that it was a hike to get to this damn castle and of course we had no water. Walking up hill in the sun is no fucking picnic I will tell you that much. But it was worth it when you get up top and take in those amazing views. Walking down was nothing compared to that hellish walk to get up there. After getting back to Istanbul we decided to hit up the spice market. which is a very crowded place with people standing in front of their shops trying to get you to come in. The sales people are kind of aggressive but i guess you have to be given there's competition everywhere around you. More on this later. Day three was more sight seeing and probably the low point of the trip, so we decided to go to the Grand Bazaar, which is like the Spice Bazaar on steroids. We encountered this guy who was selling flavored tobacco so I stop to see how much it is, basically he started high and worked his price lower but i didn't like how pushy he was being so i was going to leave. That's when he proceeded to call us niggers! yup niggers. Shocked the shit out of me because I've never been called that to my face a day in my life, people may say it behind my back but never to my face. It kind of floored me but we were in a different country so the only to do was to leave well i guess since niggers didn't get a rise out of us he called us rednecks. I never knew you could be a redneck and a nigger and on that note all i can do is laugh because he obviously didn't even know which insult to call us. That kind of put a damper on my mood for the next hour or so but when we got back to the room we got a email from the Dallas girls and decided to meet up with them that night for drinks. Oh yeah I got the girls email on the plane but see above about how drunk I was...yeah I shouldn't take peoples email addresses when i am drunk because boy oh boy did I mess it up and the email was kicked back earlier that day. Thankfully I gave them my email and they wrote us. We had a great time in Takism with them and again somehow I got pretty tipsy but a good night in deed. Day four was more sight seeing with the girls from Dallas. I know there names but i guess they will always be the girls from Dallas lol. Day 5 it was time to say good bye to Istanbul and hello to ATHENS!! more on this later

Back to Istanbul I don't know if I would ever go back, not because of the one incident at the grand bazaar but more so that the people there are very pushy. At times that pushiness can become overwhelming especially when you are just trying to walk down the street. I get it, they have to be aggressive but that aggressiveness can turn folks off. I know that's what happened with me. I got sick of saying "No thank you, we are not hungry" or "No thank you, we don't want to buy anything", or No, Thank you we are just browsing". I will say these men are determined to get your business. Even if they see you shut down the guy at the restaurant right next door to them they will still ask you if you want to look at the menu. Best sales line we heard was "How can I get you to spend your money", got to love the guys honestly and that he was straight to the point, we didnt buy anything from him but i respect his hustle. It wasn't until day four that I just was over having to deal with people trying to get you into their shop. Like in the spice market I went and brought things from the guy who didn't come out of his shop to get us. I liked not feeling pressured. Besides the nigger/redneck comment we were called Michelle Obama (ALOT), The Spice Girls and one guy thought we were South Africans. I was also not impressed with the food. I think the biggest mistake we made was trying to go to nice looking restaurants because it ended up being the best meal we had was 5 lira ($2.82), new rule when overseas try the cheapest food you can find because that might be the gem.

The flight to Athens was over before it even began which was a change after flying for 10 hours to get to Istanbul. I will start off by saying that Athens is dirty, I don't mean that to be offensive its just I wasn't expecting it to look like that. It made the roughest neighborhoods in Brooklyn and the Bronx look like gems. So you will understand my concerned look when the cab pulled over and said this is your hotel. All throughout the cab ride I thought we were just driving through the bad parts of Athens...WRONG!! Day 1 in athens was just chill, we basically just walked around the areas by the hotel but the best thing happened. I had the best gyro and beer (Amstel Light). I thought things in Istanbul was cheap but a gyro for 2 euro was great and 2 for a beer I was in heaven!. Day two we went to Acropolis which was great to see in person. And getting up that hill looked very intimidating and after the Yoros hike you would think we would have learned our lesson but we didn't. So the hike began with no damn water lol. But once at the top i realized it was no where as bad as the Yoros Castle hike. See the Parthenon in person was something I will never forget. This trip will always be special to me since it was my first. Day three we did a short bus tour to the temple of Poseidon which was also a cool sight to see.

The vibe in Athens is totally different than it is in Istanbul, I think we were only approached with a menu once and people were not pushy to get you to buy things from them. We were tourist but we weren't treated like tourist and that was a breath of fresh air. Overall, the trip was great and I had an amazing time. Now its time to plan the next vacation and I am thinking Paris or Spain but it depends on which place I can convince Brandon to go to...so until next time.

Back on my weight lost grind

I've been here before but I think this time will be different, maybe this time I'm different and I realize I need to get my shit together sooner rather than later. Almost a year and a half ago i was -20, I was on the right track losing weight at a decent pace and becoming more healthy. I can't even pinpoint what happened but instead of going to the gym 3x a week it slowly went down to 2x then 1x. Or going to the gym then right after going out to eat and drink, so the workout was a waste. I decided I needed to make an overall change, and a part of that was trying to incorporate more walking into my life. For the last month, I've been trying to wake up earlier on my workdays and taking Demo on a 15-30 minute walk. I've also have been trying to get off the train 2 stops earlier and walking home.  And on the working out front, On a whim I decided to buy Insanity DVD. My thinking was that it should be easier because I don't have to leave my house and since I spent all this money on the DVD's I'll actually use them.

So onto the DVD's themselves MAN I didn't think I was that out of shape considering I take spin classes very often but boy these Insanity DVD's are no joke. The workout plan calls for 6 workouts a week, and I set out for 6 days but right now I'm up to 3 days of working out. After today I will be up to 4 days. Next week I am aiming for 6 days. I'm hoping once my body becomes stronger that I don't need a day in between for my body to rest. The first day after doing the Fit Test, my body was in so much pain that on Wednesday there was no way I was going to work out. Another thing I am going to try is not drinking for this 60 day challenge (besides beer fest), I don't want to waste the calories. A friend suggested a app that tracks calories and it has been a good app for me, it helps me make decisions on certain foods based on the calories I have left. I decided to write this blog so I can track how well I am doing with these Insanity DVD's so I am going to try to update on a weekly basis to hold myself accountable.

Let the workouts begin!

I'll admit it, I'm lazy.

I can describe apartment hunting in 3 words: I hate it! no seriously I really do. Maybe its because I am lazy and really don't want to put the effort of going to numerous places and having to pack and unpack. Went to see a place today that I hated but my bf liked, well he liked the area not so much the apartment. The apartment just wasn't for me, an apartment is suppose to sell u on immediate impact. My first impressions was HELL NO! so the apartment hunting continues. As the move out date gets closer, I'm starting to realize I am going to miss over here. I've lived in this apartment for 30 months and I've gotten use to certain things and places. Brandon can't wait to move and he is all excited, wish that was my mindset but its not so what can you do.

Even though we're in the early stages of planning I can't wait to go to Istanbul in a couple of months. Which brings me to my new dilemma. I need to stop wasting money on unnecessary things. I follow a set budget when it comes to my bills its the other stuff that's my problem. Two weeks ago I tried to only spend $125 for 2 weeks (already went food shopping), after one day I was down to about $60. But the Indian dinner I went to with a friend was slamming lol. I really need to get it together, for this upcoming trip I've set a stricter budget that I need to start following and hopefully I will be able to do such. Its hard to not spend money in a city where everything fun cost money. I need to either cut back on spending or get a job that pays more, since finding a job these days is hard I will be cutting back on spending. I already know one thing that will have to go: Fresh Direct :-(. I love that place because I'm lazy (see paragraph above) and that place is a lazy person's dream. Doing your food shopping online and having it delivered is so simple and easy but of course things are a bit more expensive than they would be if I went to the supermarket. I placed my last order today and then me and fresh direct will end our beautiful relationship. I'm going to have to find other things to cut, which wont be fun but will pay off in the end.

Murder, cops and lawyers. My book review

I'll start it off by saying I LOVE the Kindle app on my tablet. I am so happy a friend of mine gave me a website and it's really helped me save money since I love to read. Now since I am not paying for the books I can take a chance on certain books. I'm also reading way more than before. Since last week I have read 2 books and I just started another yesterday. I decided since I am reading like crazy I should write a review of what I thought of each so here it goes:

"Kill Alex Cross" by James Patterson - As soon as this book came out I was on Amazon to purchase it. In my opinion Patterson's Alex Cross series is his best series. Anyway let's get to the book, I felt that the title was a bit misleading, scratch that I thought the book should have been named something else entirely. The title suggests that someone would be out to kill Alex and that is barely the case. The section where someone is trying to kill Alex is less than 4 pages (maybe more or less but you get the idea). I read the book in two days but I didn't think this book kept me intrigued and on the edge of my seat like some of his other Alex Cross books have done in the past. The plot was interesting, the President's two kids are kidnapped and Alex is on the case to find out who took them. I also like that while this kidnapping is going on terrorist are plotting and killing political figures. I hope Patterson's next Alex Cross book is a lot better. On a scale from 1-10, I give this book a 7.

"Split Second" by Catherine Coulter - Thanks to my friend I was able to start this book right after finishing James Patterson's book. I don't go in with high hopes for her book because they pretty much following the same format. Guy meets girl and somehow they fall in love at the end of the book which is nice but um how many people can fall in love in less than 2 weeks, ALL THE TIME. I think I read her books because i love series books because I can get to know the characters and I like Sherlock and Savich (the main characters) but i hate the predictability of all the stories. I should also say that I have read every single book in this FBI series so maybe I like it more than I care to admit, who knows. I did like the manhunt for the serial killer and how the serial killer is connected to another infamous serial killer. The other story going on in the book is about Lucy Carlye and her family mess. This was a part of the book that I found boring and just not that interesting. I find that the author sometimes mixes in paranormal element that feels out of place with the rest of the story and just doesn't seem that thought out and takes the book away from being a suspense/mystery book. I didn't love the book but I also didnt hate it, so on a scale from 1-10, I give this a 5.

"The Litigators" by John Grisham - This is a book I would not normally read, and I only say that because I prefer to stick to series and this is a legal thriller so its not really in my genre. I went on Amazon.com to try to find more books for me to read and stumbled upon this. My tablet tells me I'm 13% done with the book and so far its been really slow. I tend to like books that get into the drama fairly quick, so far nothing. I've heard Grisham books are really good but I've already told myself if I get to 20% and still nothing I'm going to stop reading it and come back to it later. Since I am still reading it my score is pending.

That's it for now, I have about 13 more books in my kindle that I haven't read yet so I'll maybe make this my thing now to write my opinions on the books I am reading. I am really looking forward to Vince Flynn new book, Love the Mitch Rapp series. Until next time...

Is life all about the money grab...

Someone once told me " money isn't everything". For some that statement is true but when it comes to me that is far from the truth. At the end of the day, money drives me. I just got promoted a couple of months ago and although the raise was a nice increase, the joy of that has faded and I'm already on to saying you know what I need to make more money. Maybe I'm crazy or just not grateful, all those things I can admit but at the end of the day money drives me career wise. At the same time I wanted to find a job i enjoy but one that pays well, instead of just a job I loved. I know there are people that have jobs that its not about the money. For instance, the other day I saw someone I use to work with at a non-for-profit, she was just as happy as can be at 8 a clock in the morning. Which made me remember a lot of them were so happy coming into work and I always thought that the majority of them were on drugs because I didnt understand how anyone could be that happy coming to work for the shitty wages they paid. But maybe money isnt everything for them and helping out the community held more value. A part of me wishes I was one of those people but sadly I am not. My bf always tells me I am one of those people that no matter how much money I make I will always want more. It's a double edge sword because I am never satisfied but I am always motivated to better myself.

When I was growing up I always told myself that I didn't want to be my mother. She busted her ass working jobs that she didn't like or enjoy to make sure me and my sister had what we needed. I watched her struggle and told myself that will never be me. I know I am not struggling but I'm not where I think I need to be and that is why I always strive for more. I hope sometime in the future I will be content, but until then its all about striving to do better.

2011...a new year

Another year in the bank now time to see what 2011 has in store for me.

Starting next Sunday I will be training with a personal trainer once a week. Last year I said I was going to be focused on my weight lost and I was for 8 months and I fell off. At my lowest I lost 20 lbs but after falling off the wagon the end total for the year was 10 lbs. I could be down on myself for not losing more but I think it was still an accomplishment for me to lose anything. I feel that I have made diet decisions that I was able to keep the whole year, one being no soda and no fast food (unless you consider Chinese fast food lol). I think by having a personal trainer on my ass I will be able to really reach my goals of being more healthy and more fit. I need to get back into my habit of going to the gym 3x a week like I was doing before. Hopefully this can keep me truly focused and by next year I can lose more than 10 lbs when its all said and done.

My 3 year anniversary is coming up this month and it's truly crazy how time flies. We have our days when we really can't stand each other but we work. I never been one of those people that romanticize my relationship. We are far from perfect and we go through the normal ups and downs as every relationship. I really couldn't think of my life without him in it, I'm use to waking up in the morning and seeing him and I'm even use to arguing with him. I love that man to death. Cheesy sappy moment is over lol.

Now that I got this job with the city I've been thinking about where I want my life to be in the next 5 years career wise. I think I need to keep striving to achieve and do better. I have my career goals all sorted out now it's a matter of actually achieving those goals. I think I can do it but its going to take hard work and dedication.

Well, that's all I have for the moment. Hope 2011 is a great year for you and yours :-)

Roosevelt Ave Food Crawl

We went to the Roosevelt Ave food Crawl today, it started in Jackson Heights and ended in Corona Queens. Great food and a very fun day, we walked 30 blocks we didn't make it till the end but we made it 90% of the way. We had 10 more blocks to go but we were dead tired. Pictures sum up the day better so here you go:

Looking back at my past

I've been thinking about relationships more nowadays and thinking about what I've dealt with in relationships to get to the point I'm at right now. I feel like up until I was about 19/20 I never took any guy serious and why would I, I used them for what I wanted and moved on. It may sound heartless but that was the mind set at the time. It was simple and quite easy for me because I was never attached and it was only what I wanted and on my terms so I felt in total control of the situation. Back in high school while everyone was running around claiming they wanted a boyfriend, I wasn't even thinking about that shit. I viewed relationships as a major headache and quite frankly a big ass waste of time.
 

And then things changed. 19/20 that's when things really began to change for me, I met Mr. L.I. and he was my first ever crush. There was something about him and he sang me a song and I was head over heels...oh to be young a dumb. Things began between us on the low and it the beginning that was the exciting part of the whole thing. Even the beginning should have been a red flag to me. He didn’t even tell me he had a girlfriend, when he did I backed up but once he didn’t have a girlfriend anymore I let the other stuff go. My other mistake was not backing away from the situation once I started to catch feelings. But he didn’t help matters either by throwing around the L word and reeling me in, I would have respected him more if he just said looking I don’t want to be in a relationship and im out doing me. But most men are never that honest, why would they be he was getting what he wanted from me and then out doing whatever. When I look back I always ask myself why in the hell did I even put up with a man who had a million reasons why he couldn’t be in a relationship and the truth is I was clouded by my extreme like for this man. The person who wanted to always be in control couldn't even control herself or her feelings. The moment I realized I was one of many, is the moment my heart shattered. Somewhere along the way I lost that control and that my friend is when the real feelings came into play and I got my little heart broken, was I mad at him? hell yeah but I realize now he only did what I allowed him to do. When they say losing your first love is hard, man tell me about it that shit was like hell. And to me I think I took it extra hard because I had absolutely no control over anything not even my tears. That first week I was crushed, I always had a wall up when it came to dudes and he was the first person to bring that wall down and he fucked me over. Things didn’t get better but a funny thing happened no more than a week later he was claiming he was ready to be in a relationship with someone else. Trust me that was another blow but it really opened my eyes to some things that he couldn’t possibly be “in love” he was just going through the motions and I needed to back up entirely. Even after and all the crap he was pushing for the next 3 months I never looked back and allowed myself to get sucked back into that vortex where I was good enough to mess with but not good enough to date. If I could go back and talk to my former self in the beginning of this "relationship" i would tell myself to never settle for less than what you deserve. Also if a man wants to be with you he will, he won't need to give you a million reasons as to why he isnt ready at the moment. I explain that whole relationship because it had A LOT to do with the next relationship…

The “relationship” if you will even call it that started out weird. When I first met him I thought he was kinda weird because he came on the date wearing gloves...my friends re-named him "the glove", and I did what most men hate I went on dates with him even though I really wasn't interested in the beginning, not because he was a bad guy but because I still wasn't over my previous situation. That Janet Jackson song "thinkin' about my ex" summed up the beginning of that relationship...I mean looking back I made some really poor choices, like pushing the issue for us to become a couple in the beginning only because Mr. L.I. informed me he now had a girlfriend, and as I type this I'm like damn that's pathetic ciara, but hey it's real. And because of that, I feel I got what I deserved out of that relationship in a sense. He was just getting out of a relationship and me out of the above chaos, I think we were both in a bad place. When we first started out he wanted to be in a relationship and I kind of blew him off, so then we become friends and somehow then i wanted to be with him and that's how the cycle of our "relationship" went. Our relationship went like this we dated he asked me to make it official I said no, so we became friends. That lasted for two months then we were in a relationship. That relationship lasted 2 months then we broke up and then we became friends again for 3 months…then we got back together AGAIN!. Then we really become the living version of that oldie song “Make up to break up”, trust that was ALL we did. After the second time of getting back together didn’t work we were in rare form with the breaking up and getting it back on… we were back in a relationship then 3 weeks later what do you know we’re not. Then we wouldn’t take for a month then we would try to see how things may go, this went on for way to damn long. I was stuck in this stupid cycle of confusion and the best thing that could have happened to me was him leaving NY for a couple of months because although I knew I was done it was great not talking to him or dealing with him even if only as friends. When he came back he actually tried to claim he was in love with me and blah blah blah but the end of the day i wouldn't say we were in love. I would say we were two people that were in a bad place at the time who found each other and only made things worse. I also think we got back together to fuck the other person over, this is the vindictive and destructive cycle we created. And to this day I don’t fully understand what the hell I was thinking. It was a year and a half of just craziness but maybe at the time craziness helped me move on from Mr. LI, because I was so engulfed in the madness it was Mr. Li who?? So Mr. Rebound served his purpose, I just wish it would have been a better rebound situation.

I don’t regret either situation, do I wish things happened differently of course I do. I think both situations helped me grow up and firmly made me realize what I wanted out of a relationship. Before Mr. L.I. I wouldn't even hug a dude in public and I had this huge wall up and I didn't let anyone in, because of that he was always hold a special place in my heart. They say you’ll always remember your first love but they need to also add you will always remember your first crazy destructive is this love or are we just crazy also lol. From "Mr. Rebound" I learned to never bring your past baggage into your new relationship. You shouldn’t use someone as a rebound because the rebound can be worse than the situation you’re trying to get over. Would I want to do it over? Hell No! once is quite enough. From going through both situations As bad as I had it in my past situations I know people who have had it a hell of a lot harder and are still going through the shit. Complicated relationships are just not for me, I don't have the patience....I'm just happy that I can look back on those relationships and say thank god I'm not even dealing with that anymore. Life is all about moving forward...so I just took a moment to reflect on my past.

life in Queens

It's been awhile since I decided to take the time out and write a blog, so much has been going on and I just never got around to writing it all down. So while I watch Iron Chef I figure this is the best time to put my thoughts out there.

We finally moved into the new apartment about two weeks ago which is exciting living on our own where we can do whatever we choose. It's kinda hard getting use to because I live in a neighborhood thats so unfamilar to me. I completely left my comfort zone of Brooklyn for Queens. So let's just cut to the drama, yesterday we are leaving out of the apartment to go walk the dog and what is on our door. A note written on a fucking paper towel that read "TURN YOUR TV DOWN" oh yeah n it was taped to the door. Now my first issue is did you really need to tape that on our fucking door, if you had an issue you could have A. Knocked on our door or B. slipped the note under our door...and my last issue is really on a paper towel, ur dumb ass doesnt have a piece of paper. Not sure which one of these fools wrote it because they didnt state who they were. Now I could understand if my T.V was blasting, the volume was on about 27 hell my T.V volume goes all the way up to 60. So in my opinion these neighbors can kiss our fucking ass, I wanted to write a note on my door to let them know not to leave another fucking note on this door...but brandon said I should let it go so I am...for now.

On to more productive things, the housewarming is in 2 weeks and im excited to have ppl over and finally let ppl see the apartment since only a handful of people have actually saw the apartment.

I know I'm jumping from thing to thing but whatever on to my own going issue/problem which is finding a job. I NEVER thought it would be this hard nor did I think I would have to take a job that doesn't even pay the same rate I made at RCN. I'm noticing I do get calls for interviews but its jobs that are crappy and pay crappy wages but what can you do, just have to suck it up and make the best of things I suppose. Have a job interview tomorrrow, so hopefully something good comes out of that...hell i just need something for the time being so I can than focus on finding something better while I make money now. My aunt called me again yesterday about becoming a teacher and as much as I truly HATE children I was actually considering it after I heard how much they make. Now I know its wrong but fuck it I need money and I wouldnt be the first teacher only working there for a paycheck. I'm trying to stay positive and sometimes I have really bad days but I'm hoping they will turn around and things can get back on track, until than I still keep fighting and applying because finding a job is a full time job.

Say goodbye to Brooklyn and HELLO to Queens...

I haven't been blogging much lately because there hasn't been to much going on that I felt I needed to write about. Truthfully the only reason I'm writing now is because I am wide awake and figured I mind as well. I would say my mood is happy/nervous when it comes to moving out in 2 weeks. I feel super nervous because this isn't the way I thought things would be and I thought/hoped I would be in a better financial state but hey I can only hope that things do turn around for me in the long run. On to the job front and still no luck, when on an interview last week and the job was horrible but most importantly the pay fucking sucked. I never thought it would this hard for a recent college student to actually find a job. And I will admit I have my days where I regret leaving my job to go back to school, and the more I am without a job the more I regret my decision. But at the end of the day regretting something doesn't truly change anything. I understand the economy is in the toilet right now but I'm need things to pick up ASAP. I've been applying my ass off to jobs and a couple of my friends are telling me I might have to lower my standard extremely and just take what I can get...but what can I say my pride gets in my way and I can't see myself working those types of jobs. When the subject even comes up all I can think of is "Is this what I put myself in debt for". Maybe that's the pride talking and my pride can get in my way big time, maybe I'm wrong and they are right but I just don't see it.

The last couple of days have been crazy, Brandon and I have been doing a lot of running around as far as this apartment thing goes. Can't wait to move but I'm not a Queens person but I am sure about to become one, never thought I would even live in Queens. I will say this tho I love the area and it seems quiet which is what I want. Looking for an apartment was a long process and time consuming. What I realize is that every agent/owner will try to make it seem like if you don't get this apt right now someone will take it because it's such a great deal. One man was hilarious, the apartment was about 15 or more blocks from my house which is basically a world apart lol. Anyway it was a 2 bedroom for 1250 which is a good deal in Brooklyn but now lets get to the negatives....I go into one of the bedrooms and look out the window and there are two men who appeared to be tipsy chilling leaning up on the mailbox, then across the street in front of the store there was a guy sitting on a crate. Oh I forgot one of the weirdest parts, so we get out the car and there are these people sitting in front of the building, and as soon as we park the car they stop talking and just stare at us. so the agent comes we walk towards the ppl to pass them and they are still staring as we walk in. So the agent forgets the keys to the apt in that particular building but the company also owned the one next door so we leave building A for B, and what do u know the people again stop talking and watch us walk to the building right next door, talk about EXTREMELY weird. So we are finally leaving building B and a tenant comes out and he appears anger as he walks to the front door, he opens it and what u know his family member is laid out in the front drunk out of his fucking mind, the tenant is cursing telling the FM to get in the house the FM is all out of it. So me and B walk pass them and so does the agent now this is what tripped us both out the agent didn't address the issue he just got into his car, I think he would have at least said something to us...nope. Oh and the drunk incident occurred at get this 4pm on a SUNDAY!!! We saw some horrible apts and some tat were nice but not worth the money they were asking for. I think we found a good one in Queens.

I'm far from cheesy but I never would have imagined this is where my life would be right now, I've been in a relationship for a yr and a half and I am about to move in with said boyfriend. I think its great the way things happen in life and how it throws you for surprising turns in life. I'm grateful that I met him and at the time I wasn't even looking for a relationship. At the time I was just getting over a bad situation that in some ways jaded my faith in people, well not people I should say men lol. I think even if you don't intent to, you can bring over baggage from a previous relationship and my situation wasn't any different, so it took awhile for me to trust him. But that saying "everything happens for a reason" is so true, I swear and and it took a bunch of things to happen for me to meet him and one was me realizing my old situation was old news and I needed to truly move on with my life and I have and I haven't looked back since. We work and that's not to say we don't get into heated arguments sometimes because we are both far from perfect and we had our ups and downs but hey cheesy and all we make it work. And that's not to brag or boost its just real and I'm lucky to have found someone who gets me. Okay I try to keep my cheesy moments like these to a minimum...The next time I write a blog I'll be in my new apartment, can't wait for the housewarming.

The return of the ex..

Every woman has had this experience where an ex from their past pops up out of the blue. I always wondered why men do this and I have some ideas but I have no insight into how men think. I always think its funny because the ex always comes back and they have had an Epiphany and realize they miss you or they really want to be with you. I realize women don't pop back up into their exes life after months. Men on the other hand will not speak to you for months or years than all of the sudden pop up. One of my theories on why men always do this when they are lonely, and I think loneliness turns into them trying to figure out why they are lonely. I think that's when they start going through the ex files and then hey try to see who they "think" they are suppose to be with. I truly feel like women don't pop back up in men lives because after a couple of months we are over it, we may try to get back at first but not months down the line. These epiphanies are hilarious because they seemingly come out of nowhere, it's like you haven't spoken to me in months and now you miss me lol. I also think it's easier to go back then to move forward so maybe that's why a ex will pop up. many people have been through it and it seems like they pop in and when they don't get the response they want they pop right back out of your life lol...but I thought you loved me lmao.

On another note I think you can be "friendly" with an ex but definitely not friends, I think that's a bit much. And by friendly I don't mean popping in and out trying to get into someones pants. I mean like I'll hit you up once in the blue and vice versa but nothing on some get back stuff. But I think that's hard to come by because it takes both parties to be on the same page and I think that's rare.

I read something on a friend's twitter page and it said "You will know that you love someone when you want him/her to be happy. Even if that means you're not a part of their happiness". I don't think I totally agree with that statement. I think whether people admit it or not they may want their ex to be happy but they want to be happier. Does that make you a bad person for feeling that way maybe but who cares lol. I mean you don't want your ex to be crying their eyes out but you want to be doing better or at least think your doing better. And maybe some people agree with that statement and maybe they are a better person than me and others.

I was talking to Brandon yesterday about breaks up and whats the standard amount of time someone should be sad about a breakup, he is one of the ppl that agreed with the statement above. And I had to poke holes all up in that argument. He said something should be in a slump for about a month, so than the questions reminds what if they are only sad for 2 weeks wouldn't that piss you off and he said yeah. So in my eyes no matter whether he wants to admit it or not he wants to be better off than the person he breaks up with. People want to think they can be highly righteous and noble but when it all boils down to it everyone is in a competition with their ex.

Okay I know a bunch of ramblings but if I can't do it here where can I...

How to be a good wife 1950 style

I'm actually starting to like my Health class, I know major shocker considering how much I complain on here about how I hate school lol. The health class is interesting its on violence and currently we are discussing domestic violence, and gender roles. We read an excerpt from an 1950's high school Home-ec book titled "How to be a good wife". When I first saw the excerpt title all I could think is you have got to be kidding me. The excerpt is basically a guideline for how society in 1950 's believed all women should behave in order to be a good wife. Since the excerpt is pretty long I'll just focus on the parts I found to be the most interesting.

• "Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is no the time. Let him talk first."
• "Make the evening his. Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other pleasant entertainment."
• "Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before...This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs."

I have many issues with this "How to be a good wife" excerpt one of which is that it doesn't take into account that every women is different. Also if every women in this world were how the article suggested every women would be the same and I don't know how interesting the world would be if every women were the same. The excerpt failed to address womens needs and downplayed their importance. The article basically states that women are here to serve their man and her needs and wants aren't important.

On to "Checklist for choosing a mate", so the teacher gave everyone a checklist and the class had to pick out the characteristics that would want in a mate. After I filled out the checklist, I realized I picked a few things I wouldn't normally pick like friendly and sensitive lol. I picked 24 characteristics out of 42. I think we will never meet a mate that embodies every single one of the characteristics, however I do think people have a few characteristics that are a must. Out of the list of things I picked, the most important to me is sense of humor.

In class we has an interesting discussion on how violence in a relationship starts and how it doesn't start out with a slap to the face right off the back. A lot of people myself included when hearing about women who get abused, I would always say "I would never stay" or "I wouldn't put up with that." I think a lot of times we are on the outside looking in and we don't get their reasons for why they stay, only the person staying really understands. I think a lot of us don't take into account how hard is it to walk away from a relationship, for some people in an abusive relationship leaving might be just as hard as staying. The one thing I never understood about controlling people are what are they so scared of. It was interesting how the professor posed us question such as "lets say you always call your boyfriend on your way home from school and one day you forget because there is a shoe sale at the mall and you leave your phone in the car. You come back to your car and you have 10 missed calls, would you leave?" No one in the class said they would, I thought it was weird but not controlling. The professor basically went over how things start out great but how things slowly change over time and people can become more controlling. The professor was saying how when you first meet someone you are in the honeymoon phase so a lot of the things they do that may be red flags a lot of us would brush them off. It's interesting how controlling behavior can start out small and lead to something totally different. When people think of an abusive relationship we automatically assume someone is putting their hands on the person, but that's not always the case and words can cut as deep as a slap to the face.